Sparks
by REDHalcyon
Summary: "He was going to keep that spark alive in her for good." Takes place after 2x06. Cassie/Tony.


_So, I was going through my computer, and I realized that I still had this story, even though I took it down from here a while ago. Well, I'm in a good mood, and I figured what the hell. So, here it is again! _

_A/N: You know the scene in Tony's series 2 episode where he tells Cassie everything is going to be alright? Well, here's my spin on how Tony reached out to Cassie. It hints a possible Cassie/Tony relationship, so if you're not a fan, oh well. And I think I stayed in character for the most part, but probably not. Alright, enough with the chit-chat…ENJOY!_

**Sparks**

For what seemed like the longest time, Cassie had been staring at the small plastic baggie that was in her hands. The noise that the bag made as her fingers methodically brushed against the plastic lining was the only thing she was concentrating on. Strangely, it was soothing, and it became melodic to her. Even more, it helped drift her mind away from her present situation, and she was no longer thinking about how her life became an even bigger mess. She was alone in the bathroom, while people were outside laughing, dancing, and partying. They weren't feeling how she was feeling, and even worse, it wasn't like anyone noticed she had retreated for solitude in the bathroom. Nobody had ever tried to reach out to her, so why would anyone take notice now? Everyone knew that Cassie was an emotional basket case. It was common knowledge that she was unraveling at the seam. But they didn't go out of their way to help her pick up the pieces of her life. And why should they? Everyone had their own problems to worry about, and as much as it saddened her, they shouldn't be held responsible for fixing her. So lately Jal, Chris, Maxxie, and Anwar continued to only watch from a distance as Cassie fell further in her spiral of self-destruction; they were anticipating how much longer it would take before Cassie finally reached her limit and snapped for good. As they had said nothing about Cassie's attempts to self-medicate through promiscuity and drugs, Jal, Chris, Maxxie, and Anwar remained silent this night as Cassie headed for the bathroom with the plastic bag she had stolen from Chris earlier that evening.

Cassie fled from the scene once Sid arrived at the party with Michelle wrapped up in his arms. Even though Michelle and Sid had been carrying on their fling for over two months, the sight of them -whether she saw them individually or, worse, together- always left her feeling like, well, a zombie. She could be in the happiest of moods prior to seeing them, but with just a slight glimpse of the two together, she would feel as if her body had been robbed of her spirit. She would begin to feel nothing. No pain. No sickness. No anger. No hurt. No further twist of the knife into her already fragile state of being. Nothing. She would become a ghost stuck in the machine. An empty vessel. An emotionless shell with no functioning core. She hated this feeling, and she thought she could get over it. She tried everything to get over this unbearable loss, the further rejection, her newest pain. She tried drugs, but once the high faded, she was back in her sad reality. She would still feel nothing. The same could be said with sex. No matter how many times she tried hooking up with strangers, she always left each encounter feeling even worse, as if a further piece of her had been robbed. No one could love her or even please her like Sid, and each affair just reminded her of that. As the days turned into weeks, she was still without a way to cope. Last Thursday she resorted to cutting again. Two days later she even had planned on ending her life with just the tip of the kitchen knife that she hid in her underwear drawer. But when she saw the plastic bag in Chris's jacket tonight, she realized her escape could be easier and painless. It was waiting for her there, calling for her to wreak havoc. And she answered the call.

Awakening from her trance, Cassie got up from the toilet seat and walked toward the bathroom counter. She opened the plastic bag and poured the pills on the smooth marble surface. The pills were all white, and they seemed to form a circle as they gathered on the counter. Cassie then tossed the bag to the side. As the bag quietly fell to the ground and landed near the door, she focused her attention on the pills that lay before her. They were her savior now. They could deliver her away from a life that was destined for just more hardships and pain. She had been planning on killing herself for some time now. Heck, she had made several attempts in the past. But for some reason, she couldn't summon the will to do it now. She couldn't even touch the pills; her small, clenched hands became glued to her petite frame. She just continued to look at them as if she expected the pills to become animated and magically jump into her mouth.

Her thoughts prevented her from carrying out her master plan. Sure, she could end her life in a matter of seconds, but then what? Nobody would notice that she was missing until some unfortunate soul entered the bathroom and found her passed out on the tiled floor. She would be dead, and the ambulance would come to take her away. But then what? With her parents still in Scotland, would they eventually get word that their troubled daughter finally succeeded in finishing her dark plot? And even if they did find out, would they actually come out to Bristol and take her body so it could be buried in a graveyard in Scotland? She knew the answer would probably be a no, and even though she wanted to deny it, she knew that her parents would probably never hear about her untimely passing. Her parents were too wrapped up in their own bubble, and she didn't fit in their equation. She was an eliminated variable, cast aside and forgotten because her problems and mentally unstableness only darkened their paradise. They hadn't cared about her before, so why would they mourn over her death? In her mind, she rationalized that her parents had long taken Cassie for dead; for the past five years, she was just a ghost of the cheerful daughter that no longer existed.

Even worse, Cassie thought about how her friends would react over her suicide? Of course, she knew that they would attend the funeral and grieve and mourn for a day. But with just a snap of a finger, they would move on. The world would continue to turn. For starters, Chris had Jal, and Jal had Chris; they had their life, and frankly, Cassie was just further complicating it. Without her, the two could be together in peace; they wouldn't have to worry about the elephant in the room anymore. And although Anwar and Maxxie considered Cassie to be a friend, she really wasn't that close to either of them. She never saw Anwar unless it involved everyone else, and she and Maxxie would only occasionally spend time together, shopping for like an hour and then leaving to go their own way. Her mind than wandered over to how Sid would react. As much as she wished and hoped for, she knew that Sid wouldn't mourn that much for her. Sure, he would probably be upset, but after a while, he would brush it off. Given everything that had happened lately, he had moved on from her. And even if he did shed a tear or two, he had a shoulder to cry on: Michelle's. Her place in Sid's heart now belonged to Michelle, her best friend that had abandoned her after Cassie was released from Restoration a year ago.

Maybe her friends and those who knew her would visit her grave from time to time, but that was unlikely. In her mind, she imagined that her grave would go unnoticed and would show no signs of anyone having visited it. Cassie realized that even in death, she would be alone. Hell, she could tell that she would be even more alone in death. This thought terrified and troubled her. Suicide was supposed to be her departure into a better existence. That's what she had been thinking for some time now. But by actually going through with it, Cassie now saw that taking her life would only lead to further misery; she still wouldn't be at peace.

"Fuck!" she screamed as she violently pushed the pills off the counter. Falling together, they fell to the tiled floor, landing near and around the plastic bag. For the first time since God-knows-when, tears started to form in her eyes. She looked up in the mirror and hated her reflection. She looked paler and thinner than ever, and her eyes were heavy and dark from the lack of sleep. She had a bruise on her jaw line from the punches she received after turning down some guy's advances. She practically looked like a corpse. No longer holding back the tears anymore, she turned around and slowly slipped onto the tile floor. Her sobs made her body shake, and she didn't even bother with trying to make her sobs not audible. She just allowed herself to cry. She brought her knees to her chest and buried her head in her hands. For the first time since God-knows-when, she was crying.

Why did she have to be so pathetic and miserable? Why did God, if there really was one, have to burden her with so much pain? When can she have a break from it all?

"Cassie?" a voice that sounded familiar whispered as she heard the door close.

She mentally cursed herself for not locking the bathroom door. 'Great,' she thought, 'now someone can get even more entertainment from my pathetic existence.'

"Can't you see the toilet is occupied? There's another one across the hall," Cassie struggled to say as a result of crying.

She didn't look up to see who it was that came in. She didn't care. She just hoped that the person would just let her be. She then wiped her eyes with her hands, and when she finally looked up she let out a slight gasp. She saw Tony Stonem sitting on the toilet, staring at the golden haired girl sitting on the tiled floor in front of him. She didn't say anything but continued to stare at him. Why was he here? Him of all people. It was so random; so bizarre. She didn't know what to think.

The two made eye contact for a split second, and then Cassie began to stare at the tiled floor. She began looking at the black and white pattern while playing with a strand of her hair. The way she was looking at the floor was as if she was searching for answers in the tiled pattern. For what seemed like five minutes, the room was filled in silence. She finally looked up when she noticed that Tony was moving towards the plastic baggie and the pills. He picked up the bag. For a second time, the two made eye contact before his eyes widened when he noticed the pills, which scattered all over the place once Tony entered the bathroom.

"Did you…?" he asked while searching for an answer in Cassie's eyes.

"No," she interrupted him, "I didn't take any. I couldn't bring myself to do it."

She then resumed to staring at the tiled floor and playing with her hair. Tony just held the plastic bag for some time. Without saying a word, he started picking up the pills and putting them back in the bag. All the while, Cassie continued to be amazed by the tiled floor and continued playing with her hair. When Tony finally had all the pills back in the plastic bag, he tossed the bag into the trash can next to Cassie and closed the lid. He then sat back down on the toilet. Cassie then gave Tony a puzzling look. Her eyes were squinted and her mouth was slightly opened. Her hand was still playing with her hair, and her head was tilted a little to the left.

"Well I'm glad you didn't," Tony said, finally breaking the silence.

"What?" Cassie asked. This was so surreal to her. This whole situation, this scenario, was just bizarre. She couldn't believe it; she was unable to wrap her mind around anything that was going on.

"I mean…you know…um…I'm glad you didn't try to…um, you know."

Cassie could tell that Tony was uncomfortable with finishing the complete thought. But she knew what Tony was talking about and took delight as she observed him retying the laces on his black dress shoes. Cassie let out a small laugh, which caused Tony to smile shyly.

"Cat got your tongue, Tony?" replied Cassie, who was becoming surprisingly amused and engrossed with what was happening.

"Fuck you, Cass." Tony let out a small laugh of his own and smiled a little. Cassie just shook her head, once again in disbelief over how surreal and awkward this was. She let out a very quiet "wow." Cassie looked into Tony's eyes, and Tony did the same with hers. Brown eyes met blue, and blue eyes met brown. After a couple of seconds in silence, Cassie finally shifted her glance and stared at the wall. Magically, she gained a new sense of confidence.

"Why do you care?" she asked without a hint of really any emotion in her tone.

"Pardon?" Tony replied. He wasn't sure what she was trying to get at.

"You heard me," she coolly whispered, still staring at the wall behind Tony. He was speechless, and after a couple of seconds, Cassie decided to enlighten him.

"You said before that you were glad I 'didn't try,' and based on your reaction to the pills, you thought I was going to try to kill myself again," she replied in a matter-of-fact tone. Cassie focused her attention back to Tony, and she could see that he was taken aback by her comment.

"Another overdose? Don't worry. I'm not going to go through with it anymore. So you can go back to whatever you were doing before. I'm fine."

"And dandy," Tony laughed, hinting at the conversation they had a week ago when Cassie suggested that they should start dating in order to make Sid and Michelle jealous.

Cassie let out another laugh, too, and shook her head.

"I'm fine and fucking dandy."

Tony took a cigarette out of his right pocket and a lighter out of his left pocket. He put the cigarette to his mouth and then lit it. He inhaled slowly and exhaled just as slowly, savoring the cigarette. After another puff, he took the cigarette out of his mouth and offered it to Cassie. She said a quiet "thanks" and took a quick puff before giving it back to him. He continued to smoke, while Cassie watched him, taking the view of him in. She turned her body so that her right shoulder was leaning against the bathroom lower cabinet behind her.

"You still didn't answer my question, Tony."

"And what was that again?" Tony surveyed the room with his eyes as he continued to smoke. He was purposely avoiding her, making sure to look at everything but the troubled girl in front of him.

"Stop the bullshit, Ton. Tell me why are you starting to care now?"

Tony looked at Cassie and was once again taken aback by the expression on Cassie's face. She looked sad, amused, and confused all at the same time, and it was an intriguing scene to behold on her face.

"Who said I never cared?"

That was too much for Cassie. For the first time since God-knows-when, Cassie started laughing. Her laughter became more intense as her small frame shook from her giggles. Usually when Tony heard her laugh, he always thought it sounded somewhat-dare he say it- angelic. But now, her laugh sounded mad, as in she-is-off-her-rocker-crazy. Tony couldn't help but imagine Cassie as Ophelia reincarnated, coming back from her watery grave to pass out flowers to all those who watched and did nothing as she became delirious from her breakdown.

"That is too fucking good. Too fucking good." Cassie said as straightened out her blue dress.

Cassie then laughed again and stood up. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bath tub. She was sitting beside Tony, and he turned himself so that he was directly facing Cassie. Cassie reached over and took the cigarette from Tony's hand. Tony arched his eyebrows at her, and Cassie let out a soft giggle before bringing the cigarette to her lips. She inhaled and then exhaled the smoke into Tony's face, laughing again as Tony started coughing.

"What the fuck, Cassie?" an agitated Tony cried.

"Tony, I can't believe you said that. You don't fucking care."

"And why the hell not?" Tony was getting frustrated now by Cassie. Sensing this, Cassie finally snapped out of her state. She calmed herself down, and Cassie quietly apologized. Feeling uncomfortable, she started picking at the chipped nail polish on her fingernails.

"For as long as I've known you, Tony, you've never given a shit about me. I've been a joke to you," Cassie quietly whispered, spilling hints of defeat with every word.

She then looked up, and Tony could now identify the look on her face: sadness. Cassie decided to continue.

"Don't try to deny it, Ton. I heard the comments you would say. Fuck, I would replay every mean word over and over again. You would be like '_wow, Cass! How's dippy world treating you?'"_ she said while trying to imitate Tony, which was basically her widening her eyes on every other word and lowering her voice a few octaves. Tony just continued looking at her, never once breaking focus.

"Or _'Cassie, what's that I see?' _and then you'd pinch my side to make me hint that I was fat. Which would cause me to, like, starve myself for days. You made me out to be a joke for you."

Cassie once again looked down and focused her attention back onto picking her chipped nail polish away. Tony let out a sigh and then put his hand on Cassie's knee and scooted closer toward her. Cassie then stared at Tony's hand.

"I'm sorry, Cass. I was a fucking wanker. I…um…you know I never meant-"

"Its fine Tony," Cassie interrupted, "and frankly I don't blame you. Look at me, I am joke."

Cassie took another drag from the cigarette and closed her eyes as she exhaled. Tony withdrew his hand from her knee and held his head down, ashamed once he remembered all the things he had said about Cassie. But that was before everything happened. Before he finally opened his eyes. Before he became new again.

"You're not a joke, Cassie. Far from it. Don't say that about yourself."

"Yeah?" Cassie asked after finishing another drag. Tony moved and sat next to Cassie on the edge of the bath tub. She was looking at him, while he started to stare at his hands. Cassie then turned back and put the cigarette out. She then started to play with her hair again, while Tony never broke his concentration on his hands. They sat in this silence for some time, before Tony finally spoke.

"I'm here for you, Cass. If…whenever…you need or want to talk to someone."

Tony turned and smiled at Cassie, and he expected her to return the smile. Instead, she just had a blank expression on her face. She was looking at Tony, but there was no emotion anywhere on her face. Just when he was starting to feel hopeless, however, he saw that her eyes were different; they told a different story. For some unknown reason, his gut could tell that behind veneer that she had created to hide behind, there was a hurt girl who has been longing for someone to reach out to her. Someone to hold her hand and tell her that everything is going to be alright. She needed someone or something to relight the spark that had been missing in her for God knows how long. She needed to feel alive again. And in her eyes, Tony could tell that she was starting to believe that she had found what she had been looking for.

And it was just like that. Just like that. With the snap of one's finger, the puzzle seemed to be finally complete. A conclusion was finally reached. The spark was ignited, and hope was restored in the girl. For the first time in such a long time, a real, genuine smile came upon Cassie's face. She was starting to let go of her fear; her future was starting to look less bleak.

"Wow. That's so nice. You're so lovely, Tony," Cassie radiated.

Tony laughed and patted Cassie's knee. Cassie tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then cleared her throat. And just like that the spark died once again, and her fears came rushing back.

"You say that now, but you can't really be serious" she said while looking at her finger nails. She was once again defeated.

Tony then arched his eyebrow at her, confused as to the sudden change of mood. He looked at her, and he noticed that the spark in her was staring to flicker. Her short-lived, optimistic disposition was being replaced with a somber one as reality started to crush her newly born hope.

"You can promise that you'll be here, but nothing lasts. Promises are made quickly, but they, like, break even faster. Nobody ever fucking listens, and nobody stays. My family is in Scotland, Tony. They don't seem to mind that I haven't returned like I said I would. And look at Sid! The love of my life is off fucking around with my former best friend. And now you, Tony fucking Stonem, say you want to help. That you want to be another person to come and go. Why? Why are you being so caring now?"

Cassie quickly rose and almost lost her balance. She braced herself on towel hanger. Once she regained her balance, she moved so that she was standing in front of Tony. She gave him a look that chilled Tony to the core. He was taken aback by the sudden change in her personality, but he started to realize that he couldn't blame her for being skeptical. She was right; since the time they've known each other, he was hardly a friend to her. He regarded her as his then girlfriend's crazy, anorexic friend, a girl on a downward spiral that was both tragic and amusing to watch. So why now was he trying to be a friend? Her rock? A shoulder for her to cry on? He didn't know the answer right then. So they once again welcomed the silence. But after some time and because of the awakening he had earlier this day, it all finally clicked for Tony. He was in Cassie's position prior to today. He may not have been as lost as her, but he was still far from where he had been at the happiest point in his life. But with help, he finally got over it, and after seeing Cassie crying on the floor tonight, he realized that she needed help that was long overdue. She needed someone, and Tony was stepping up to the plate, taking on a challenge similar to what he went through.

Tony rose from the bathroom edge slowly, and stood in front of Cassie. He lowered his head so that he was looking directly at her. For some reason, he put his right hand on Cassie's face. He gently brushed his fingers over the bruise on her jaw line. He touched the bruise praying that his fingers could erase the mark, erase all the pain. As he caressed the purple skin, Cassie shut her eyes and let out a small cry. She was beginning to feel again. But she still couldn't let herself dive into this. So, she took Tony's hand off her cheek and took a step away from him. She wanted to push him away, and she quickly came up with some excuse to prevent herself from completely giving herself to his care and attention.

"Oh I see. You just really want a good hard fuck, yeah? That's why you are saying all of this. What a horrible way to try and get your fix, huh?" Cassie venomously whispered, glaring at him.

What she said struck Tony. He was disgusted that she really thought that all he wanted was to fuck her. Tell her lies just to coax her into getting in bed with him later that night. That straw finally broke the camel's back; Tony was going to no longer dance around the situation. He wasn't going to hold back anymore. His eyes darkened, which made Cassie slightly afraid.

"For Christ's sake, Cassie. You really think that I'm saying all of this just so I can get into your pants? You have no fucking idea whatsoever. I meant every fucking word I said, and I'm not asking for fucking anything in return. So fuck you," he yelled harshly. Cassie continued to back away from him, but with every step she took back, Tony took a step closer; the distance between them always remained the same. After realizing the impact his words were probably having, Tony decided to lower his voice and speak less harshly.

"I'm telling you the truth, Cass. I want to help you out. I know I've been a dick to you, and I'm really fucking sorry. I'm really fucking sorry." Tony turned his back to Cassie and put his hand through his hair. Once he was done, he took a deep breath and turned around to look at Cassie as he finished what he had left to say.

"Something happened today as I visited that university I was telling you about. I can't explain it, but for the first time in months, I feel alive again."

Tony stopped and sat on the toilet lid. He put his elbow on his knees and cradled his head. Timidly, Cassie turned and directed herself to face him. Although he couldn't see, tears were forming in Cassie's eyes. A chord had finally been struck. What he was saying was resonating. After running a hand through his hair, he continued.

"I feel fucking good, Cass. So yeah, I may have been hit by a fucking bus, and I may have fucking lost my girlfriend to my best friend. But, Jesus, for the first time, I feel alive again, and I know everything is going to be alright."

He whispered the last part to himself again as if to let it sink deeper. He really believed that. Although life had thrown him so many unexpected curveballs, he finally began to see through the dark that had been clouding his vision since his accident. There was hope. For him. For Cassie. For anyone. And even though he may never retain everything he had before, he was at peace with that because everything was going to be alright.

"And you need to realize that, too. You need to realize that everything is going to be alright. And you need to...," he stopped abruptly, trying to look for what he wanted to say. Cassie was hanging on every word he had been saying, and she looked him wide eyed, anticipating what he had left to say.

"Fuck, you need to stop living as if no one cares. You need to know that there are people who want to help you. You can't turn to pills to escape your problems. Cassie, you need to face them. You need to wake up, and I'm begging you to let me help you. You can't go on living as if no one cares because I do."

He looked up for the first time since he sat down. He was surprised to see that Cassie was silently crying, and that she had been crying the whole time. He smiled. He started to think that maybe he was finally breaking through to her. He stood up and once again towering over her, he peered into her eyes. He then gently wiped the tears out of her eyes, and Cassie let out a quick cry. She then suddenly wrapped her arms around Tony's neck and buried her head into his chest. Tony was surprised by this, but once he regained his balance, he hugged her back. He held onto her, finally providing her the comfort she had needed throughout this whole dark period in her life. He started to rub her back gently as she wept into his chest. Her fragile frame trembled against his muscular frame, and she soon put her hands on top of his chest. During the whole time that Tony had Cassie in his arms, he kept whispering softly into her ear, "Everything is going to be alright." He said it over and over and over. Until the message sunk in for Cassie. Until Cassie calmed down. Until Cassie finally digested everything Tony had been saying. Until Cassie started to believe that Tony would actually live up to his word. Until that spark once again ignited.

"FYI," Tony said once Cassie could cry no longer, "I wouldn't be against you thanking me with sex," Tony chuckled into Cassie's ear. Cassie started to laugh against Tony's chest, and she looked up at him, the genuine smile still on her face brighter than ever.

"I'm sure you'd be up for it, you bastard." Cassie laughed as her smile grew even wider. And her eyes sparkled, gleaming with life for the first time since Cassie could remember.

Tony smiled at her. He was about to say something, but the door opened. The two looked to see who it was, and Tony couldn't help but roll his eyes at who it was.

"Uhm, Cassie…Tony…hi," Sid said as a stupid look took over his features.

To say he was surprised by the sight that greeted him would have been an understatement. Never in a million years did he expect to see his former girlfriend in the arms of his, well, former best friend. Of course, Sid knew about Cassie's recent behavior as a result of what happened between him and Michelle, but he never thought that she would hook up with Tony. It just seemed so...bizarre.

However, Sid was distracted from his thoughts when he could tell from how Cassie looked that she had been crying.

"Are you ok?" he asked automatically.

Before answering, Cassie looked at Tony and smiled at him. She then moved out of Tony's embrace, which she wished could have lasted longer, and turned to face Sid.

"Yes, Sid. I'm ok. Everything is alright."

Cassie shrugged, and she let out a small, angelic laugh. She then turned back to Tony. She was cautious with what she did next. She once again leaned against Tony, her hands pressed against his chest again, and stood on the tip of her toes in order to kiss his cheek. Her lips lingered on his skin for some time, and he closed his eyes as he took in what was happening. Her breath tickled his skin, and he couldn't help but feel intoxicated by her. She then moved back, letting her hands slide down from his chest to his abdomen, and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear.

"So, Tony, want to continue this talk some other time? Like tomorrow?" Cassie asked as she swayed back in forth, completely unaware of Sid with his mouth opened all the way in shock.

"Like I said, anytime, Cass."

Cassie gave Tony one last smile, and then walked out of the bathroom. However, before leaving the bathroom, she turned around and faced Tony, a smile still planted on her face.

"And thank you, for, um, caring. You're just...wow."

And with that, s turned around, and she walked past Sid. As Sid stood in the doorway in disbelief over what he just saw, Tony watched as she disappeared and faded into the crowd and music outside.

He did it. He helped her realize that everything was going to be alright, and he was going to continue to help her realize that. He was going to live up to his promise and help Cassie. He was going to keep that spark alive in her for good.

~Fin~


End file.
